Reminiscing
by Vani88
Summary: Post Season 5 Finale... Tony is reminiscing about the good times he's had with Ziva, the love of his life. What will happen now that the team has been dissolved ? Read to find out.
1. The separation

**Reminiscing**

**This is my very first attempt at writing fiction. That is why this chapter is so small... You are most welcome to give me your opinion and review, I hope I'll be able to make the next chapter much longer then....**

He was stunned to hear this. Sent off on the Roosevelt for a 3 month's mission, while the love of his life would be sent back to Israel, exposing herself to the wrath of Ari's and her father, should he ever find out who *really* killed his son.

Risking a quick side look to Ziva, he saw the usual composed face of his lover. No one but he, that he knew, would notice how deeply troubled she was by this announcement. He had been going out with her long enough to see that this was only an outer shell, built up during her hard times at Mossad. She was never allowed to let her guard down, so she had been taught all her life.

"Now, Gibbs, let me introduce your new team" the voice of the director sounded distant to Tony's ears, as his mind was wandering elsewhere, remembering, holding on to what he had with Ziva, to what might come and to what life might have in store for them…


	2. Made up her mind

**Please anyone correct me if there are mistakes in the words. I found the endearment word online, so it might not be appropriate for the situation, the person etc… I am looking forward to reviews... don't hesitate....**

Chapter 2

*** Flashback ***

Tony remembered the day Ziva first walked into his life… He wasn't impressed when she walked out from the elevator, her hair open, backpack on her shoulder. But hey, he noticed fast that she was different from all the other girls he'd met. Which other girl would ever dare to speak about *such* things on their first meeting… she was definitely hot as hell… and on that day he swore to himself that he would be the one to tame this fierce girl… He did not know what he was in for though …

*** End of Flashback ***

The whole now no-more-team walked out of Director Vance's office, and the usual laughter and bantering had stopped. Everyone was deeply sunk into their thoughts, where to go from now, what would happen to them.

Ziva's mind was racing… how could she, after all that she had lived here, after having embraced the culture and the way of living (if not the idiomatic expressions, she reckoned) go back to the country she once loved. Not that she did not like Israel, it was the place she grew up, went to school… but it also held its share of bad memories for her. She'd never be able to forget about Tali, her younger sister, and what she had been through.

MOSSAD… those 6 letters that once meant the world for her, that she was willing to kill for, to die even… they had lost their significance now. Ziva David wanted to live her life for all that it was worth, for herself and the family that she never had. This was the day when, in her bitterness, she made the first choice of her life which was dictated by love, by herself, and not someone else's order : She would return to Israel, indeed, "that's why they are called orders", but no one in this world would be able to keep her from living her own life, the life she would have chosen willingly.

The decision was made, she would return to the US, to live with Tony, come what may. Smiling lightly to herself, she remembered Gibb's rule nr. 5 (or was it nr. 4 ? ) : "The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person - if you must. There is no third best." and headed off to Abby to fill her in on her plan…

***********

Tony saw from the gleam in Ziva's eyes that she must have planned something, but he knew better than to ask her. If she'd want to explain the details to him, she would. If she chose not to, it meant that it probably was better for his life, or so much he'd already learnt from Ziva. _Things you don't know of, you are at no risk of repeating_ True, he mused. And regardless of what happened, he knew that he trusted Ziva with his life. This made a shiver run through is mind, as he recalled the time when she admitted to him that she'd rather die than be captured alive… lets hope she doesn't have *that* type of thing planned. He sighed, but knew things would not be easy on them.

**********

"Oh my, Ziva ! Are you sure about that ?" Abby could not believe the plan of her friend. "You do know this is quite risky, and might not work out. " she had to say it, even though she knew Ziva's mind was made up. Ziva nodded : "Don't worry Abs, this is not the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, you know. There have been far worse. I'm sure everything will be all right. Just don't tell anyone, okay ? I don't want someone else to get involved in this, not even McGee, understood ?" Abby nodded, she knew that it would not be wise to speak to anyone about this, much less any of their colleagues, or even Gibbs. He would surely set out to try and convince Ziva not to risk her life, that he'd find another solution. She hugged her and they said Goodbye to each other, hoping to meet again sometime soon.

**********

"Ahuvi" his breath whispered over her hair like a caress. "_Lo eten lezeh likrot shoov, ahuvatee"_ (I wont let it happen my love) We will stay together, there will be a way. To hear Tony speak her own language was warming her heart. _He truly is a great man, and I know that my decision is the right one. _With that she chased away all her negative ideas to only concentrate on the present moment and the time she had left with him before destiny would tear them apart...

**That's it for the second chapter. I hope you like the direction the story is going in. Please leave me some comments and reviews, I'd love to hear your opinion... Hopefully I'll be back with the 3rd chapter soon...**


	3. Israel

Chapter 3

**Thanks for your reviews, it is always nice to see that someone is actually following and appreciating the story… I hope you'll like how it will turn out, please review after reading.**

Sighing, Ziva turned her back on the "Roosevelt" and walked away, not looking back. Tony did not even expect her to turn up and it warmed his heart to see that her hard outside was slowly melting to show the person he had come to love. Standing on the gate, however, Ziva turned around once more. He caught her eye and they smiled at each other, a smile full of sadness and longing, but a smile nevertheless. Thus they separated, eagerly counting the days of their possible reunion…

********** Tel Aviv, Israel **********

Ziva knew it would not be easy, but she had everything planned out. Dropping out of Mossad was not a mere formality, that much she knew. That is why she had come up with a Plan B, just in case her father would not accept her resignation. Double-checking all her weapons, including the back-up on her thigh and in her boot were indeed in place, she left for Mossad headquarters, a letter in her hand.

She took a last breath, steeling herself for what was about to come, and knocked on Eli David's office door. "Please enter" she heard her father's voice, dampened through the wood. Saying a little prayer in her head, she entered and closed the door behind her.

He looked around the corner and saw Ziva enter the Director's office. No doubt his gut was right once more. He'd seen her in front of the Mossad office and caught her train of thought.

_I must keep her from doing this. Anything that might harm her father or his position would turn against her, very soon._

"Aba, I've got to speak to you" Ziva's voice was low, surprising her father, who was used to see his assassin in a better shape. Her calling her father was even more surprising. _She must have something important to tell me, to address me as father._ He mused. He'd never been much of a father for any of his children. What for, after all ? Life was so hard, and mostly short, that they'd be better off not to be shown the love of a family.

"Yes, David, what is it that you have to tell me" he kept his voice barely audible, just like Ziva had. There was a cold vibe to his voice, as usually whenever he addressed his now only living child. "I don't want to continue, director. I finally found out that life is not all about killing, about hatred and surviving. It is also about mending, and caring, and most of all living, for the sake of living and loving" Director David thought he must have misheard, Ziva David, his best killer, suddenly rambling about family and love ?

"You. Of all people ? You are a David, don't forget that, girl ! Haven't you listened to a single thing that I've taught you ? Love doesn't exist, one doesn't marry for love, or have a family for love. It is just a pretense. And whatever damn guy has told you that fooled, you, just the way I've fooled women. I thought you were above that behavior, above that stupid childish dream of life" his voice remained perfectly calm and steady, as always, but inside he was boiling. Ziva, on the other hand, was getting angry as each of the words left her father's mouth. Not that she'd expected anything else from him. After all, he was the reason why she became a killer in the first place, he trained her, just like he'd trained Ari to become a mole. _With me, he also failed _Ziva thought _He failed to make me the killer he wanted, but that is good. I am my own _

"Please accept my resignation, director. I've decided that life has something else in store for me. I am not a part of your fight anymore" with those words she laid her resignation letter on the table in front of her father and turned to go.

"You filthy brat. I knew I shouldn't have taken you into my house, god knows who fathered such a weak woman. I should've taken Ari into the family, he was the killer we should've had on our side. That godda*n Gibbs would ne" that's all he managed to say, for Ziva, at the mention of Gibb's name in such a manner had taken her knife from her boot and thrown her father against a wall, the sharpened blade sitting at his neck.

"Don't ……. You……. Dare….. !!! " the words came out in between gritted teeth as blazing anger surged through Ziva. She'd never been so angry, not on any of her missions. "He's been a better father to me than you'll ever be" her practices fingers were about to repeat what she had so often done, simply slice open the man's throat, when she heard it. Someone came up behind her, catching her off guard. She was about to turn around and kick her unknown opponent when she was head-slapped by an all too familiar boss of hers. Smiling to herself, she did not release her victim or the knife, keeping the blade tight to his neck.

"Ziva, don't." his voice was slow, but very calm and clear. "It's not worth it. You won't get any satisfaction from killing him, you'd just play along with his game, prove him that ultimately, he won. Believe me, this is not your future. I've seen your feelings for Tony and I've seen his feelings. Don't throw away what you can have with us, for this…. This person…"

Although deeply angered, her words made sense to him, and she slowly let the knife glide to her side, still holding her so-called father in a dead grip…

**How will it continue… please please review, and tell me what you think of it. I know this is my first story, so don't be too hard on me… Looking forward to posting the next (and probably final) chapter.**


	4. Meeting again

Chapter 4

*On the plane*

Ziva was pacing, not willing to settle down. She was confused. She should've killed him, she would have been head of Mossad, it would finally have been her in control... Snorting, she abandoned that thought... This is the way her father... the director, raised her. That was not her way of things.

Finally settling down next to Gibbs, who was reading a boat magazine, she sighed. She might as well start her new life right now, as she doubted she'd have any future whatsoever with Mossad after what had happened in her father's study. "Thanks" she sighed "for what you did, what you didn't let me do". Gibbs knew how hard this acknowledgment was for Assassin-Ziva, so he chose not to dwell on it, and simply nodded.

He also knew that the new life Ms. David was about to step into wouldn't be an easy one for any normal person. For Ziva, however, this would finally be what she had decided. Her life would finally be hers, and she'd be considered as a person, rather than simply a pawn in a chess game.

They arrived in DC in the early morning, due to the time difference. Considering that Ziva had no more apartment to go to, Gibbs invited her to his place, at least temporarily until she's find a place of her own.

After a meeting with the head of NCIS, Gibbs and Vance agreed it would be the best thing to have Ziva at NCIS, this time as an agent. Thanks to Fornell, who still owed a favour to Gibbs, it was within a week that Ziva officially became a citizen of the US, thereby leaving her old self behind her, embracing the new life that was waiting for her.

As expected, she was greeted upon her arrival at her desk by a crazy goth. Abby run towards her and pulled her in a breath-crushing hug before she even had the time to drop her bag. She was smiling at her best friend and happily chatting away. Not even Gibbs could keep her from the usual rambling.

"I've missed you too Abby, and yes, everything went fine. Gibbs just arrived on time and prevented me from my orinigal plan, which turned out to be the best thing. Where's Tony ?"

At the mention of their workmate, Abby's smile disappeared. "Still aboard the ship" Ziva sighed, what could she have expected after all.

"Ziva, follow me" Gibb's voice rang to her ears from where he was standing on the floor above, near to MTAC. She quickly jogged up the stairs and entered MTAC along with her boss, only to arrive to see Tony, not on-screen, real, standing in front of her. Gibbs backed away, leaving both of them, and it is only at that moment Ziva noticed that the normally so busy Center was now empty, except for Tony and her.

Tony stood there, his trademark grin on his face and opened his arms, motioning for her to come closer... She didn't let him ask twice and run towards him, throwing herself in his arms.

"I missed you, my ninja" She playfully slapped him in between their *Welcome Back* kisses. "Missed you too, my hairy butt" Ey, his yelp was swallowed by another kiss.

After a few more kisses, both of them settled down on the chairs and Tony began to tell her how Gibbs managed to convince the officer to let him off the hook earlier than planned. He smiled at how Gibbs just seemed to be there whenever needed and was content, just holding Ziva in his arms, now forever. As she snuggled closer to him, he swore himself that they would never be separated again.....

**Thanks for reading my story :) And sorry for updating so late.... I hope you are not disappointed by the ending of the story... Don't hesitate to review :)**


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